Was talking to an old friend online a while ago. Just find that people nowadays got not much faith in marriage and that girlfriends may not end up be wives in future, vice verse, that sort of things. I propose that the Game Theory can explain this phenomena.
What's causing such notions can be attributed to the uncertainty factor, where man realizes that the only thing that doesn't change is the fact that things changes. Let's put aside the philosophical part of this notion but assuming that this is embedded in the decision making process of man, then even in relationships, man has to deal with the uncertainty of the relationships and responds correspondingly. And as we know, man are often afraid to give more than he receives, or in a more positive construction, more willing to receive more than he gives, and this is true even in relationship matters. So here are the four possible cases in any relationships.
CASE I: The man gives more than the woman.
CASE II: The woman gives more than the man.
Under the above two possible cases, it simply speaks of one thing, that relationship takes two hands to clap and cannot be worked upon by just one person. Often, the one not willing to give in a little more are usually still recovering from past relationships or experiences in life which hurt, that resulted in their skepticism towards a long lasting relationships. And you find that through this self protecting mechanism of not willing to give in more, for fear of not hurting oneself again, will cause hurts to the other party and the vicious cycle continues when they parted and got attached to another person. Isn't this pretty much similar to what the bible says about the cycle of death?
CASE III: Both did not give at all.
And in this case, I guess it's pretty much obvious that this relationship wouldn't last long, for it takes effort to build a long lasting relationship. Probably, some of you might not even call it a relationship in the beginning.
CASE IV: Both gives equally.
Now, we all know that this is the best possible case, but why do we remain skeptical that this is rare and even if it did happen, the lot would not fall on me? That it will be extremely hard to meet someone who will be able to give in as much as I give in? Why do we think this way, or learn to think this way from young?
Thus the Game Theory from the perspective of an individual states that, one would not want to give in more than the other party for fear that the other party did not give at all, or at least as much. And what happen then when everyone started to give less and less? It's much like the lemon effect, where it becomes a common knowledge that we ought not to give in alot until we are very sure that he or she is the one.
But when can we be sure? Or can we be sure at all, because skepticism has ruled our lives. Can you then, at least, see that the root cause towards all this failures and uncertainty in relationship is merely due to the distrust between people? Don't we often hear that it's better to trust ourselves than to trust others? We can then conclude that we often build our relationships on the wrong foundation and often ask why when it doesn't work out.
How then, can we be more trustful in each other in any relationships? We all have to build our relationships on the right foundation, if we want it to last. However, there is no way and when I said no way, I mean no human effort can heal that disease of distrust. We all have to come humbly before God to tune ourselves and to build our relationships on Him, the rock, the sure foundation which would not shake and that could last. I hope you do, at least see the point that without God in our picture, we often ruin our relationships and even lives. Though we failed often, may God alone help us. Amen.