"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." ~ 1 Peter 3:15-16
I have read your blog, BinBin81, and am amazed at how much things you have put down in it over a short period of time. But most of all, I am surprised that you managed to really put your heart down there. I see no coverings or what-so-ever, but honesty and speaking from the heart. Guess everyone has their fair share of emotions. What I am really interested in is the latest posting which says:

"...dun feel like writing much, realizing that people just take you for granted. Happy happy find u, then got things do already dump you aside.. Maybe this person never feel it or wat, but to the affected one is obvious. Pieces of me have been taken away..."

Strangely, I find this to be a truth even in the context of serving.. Sometimes people can just overlooked our needs when they approached us for something. Perhaps sometimes we care too much about the works to the extent that we forget it's the people that matters at the end of the day. Maybe what we need is a shepherd heart which will care for the feelings of others. Who wants to feel that they are being used by others for their agenda, except being used by God?

Not a coincident, but I have been searching an answer for a "balanced" christian life in the context of serving. Sometimes, I just feel if I might have been over-serving, or is there such a thing as over-serving in the first place? Am I in the right place where God calls me into? I must confess that I have a dislike towards rigid program and will offer no support to "winning formulae" like the current fever on 40 Days Purpose Driven Life. Sometimes the more I think through the Scriptures, the more I think we need to rethink the current practices of modern day churches. Are we really doing what God intends for us, or are we managing God's Church in our own human way?

Perhaps the only thing I like in a Sunday church, is the worship session, because I am convicted that God can speak through songs into our hearts. And indeed it is a privilege to share with the brothers and sisters some songs that touches my heart. I don't think it is really a surprise that my family are into the chinese worship ministry, when my mum aptly calls us a house of praise and prayer. But other than that, I would rather spend more time outside of the Sunday church but still doing God's works and keeping in contact with fellow brothers and sisters. God knows, if we will to be led into a house church in a couple of years time.

It isn't something far, I guess, when my fiancee ever mentioned to me that she has a burden for us to kick off a fellowship group among those nearer to our age. And it can be for the purpose for bringing His Word to others, christians and non-christians alike. Deep down in my heart, I do have similar ideas as well, for I still prefer to serve than to be served. In fact, I find myself growing less by attending my present cell group though she had helped me greatly in the past. Maybe it's time to move on? Only God knows.. But I am sure wherever God calls us to, He will always be with us and we will forever be knitted together into this family of God, for there is only one God, one Lord, one baptism and one faith.