"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." ~ 1 Peter 3:15-16
What do you want?

This question stuck in my mind since two years ago after hearing an inspiring message entitled Run with the Horses (Jer 12:5). At the end of the day, what do I really want out of life? What I want will determine how I live. Am I wanting the right things in life? Recently, I learnt that Jesus (who is Life himself) asked his two disciples the same question (John 1:38a).

"Life, in fact, is too much for us. This business of living in awareness and response to God, in attentive love to the people with us, and in reverent appreciation of the world round about exceeds our capacities. We aren't smart enough; we don't have enough energy; we can't concentrate adequately. We are apathetic, slouching and slovenly. Not all the time, to be sure. We have spurts of love, passionate risks of faith, impressive episodes of courageous caring. But then we slip back into indolence or greed. Soon we are back at the old stand, handing out the glib patter that fools others into thinking we are better than we really are. Sometimes we even deceive ourselves into thinking we are pretty nice people indeed. Jeremiah knew it all from the inside: 'The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately corrupt' (Jer 17:9). But a ruthless honesty will always leave us shattered by our inadequacy. The world is a frightening place. If we are not a little bit scared, we simply don't know what is going on. If we are pleased with ourselves, we either don't have very high standards or have amnesia in regard to the central reality, for 'It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God' (Heb 10:31). Pascal said, 'Fear not, provided you fear; but if you fear not, then fear.' There is an enormous gap between what we think we can do and what God calls us to do. Our ideas of what we can do or want to do are trivial; God's ideas for us are grand. God's call to Jeremiah to be a prophet parallels his call to us to be a person." ~ Run with the Horses, Eugene H. Peterson

The above quote expresses well much of what I have been feeling. And I want to remain in God's moulding hands, as I learn to live out his call to us to be a person. My motivation? For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again (1 Cor 5:14,15). Jesus, what do YOU want?

The past six years of serving in campus ministry (one year in NUS, five years in NTU) has contributed much to God's moulding me as a person. It has helped me to grow (a bit) in the understanding of God and His Word, people and myself. It has also been a very fulfilling time of seeing people knowing and growing in their relationship with God. I am especially grateful to God for the many valuable friendships established with staff and students over the years.

THANK YOU for making it possible for me to serve the Lord in this manner over the past six years!