"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." ~ 1 Peter 3:15-16
I didn't went for my tuition commitment last night as I was feeling quite drained out, neither did I join the Crusade fellowship in the evening... School work and church commitment seems to be piling on me till I am at the sea bed, bearing all the pressure above me.

The sad fact is that my co-worker in the tuition ministry told me last night that the kids left early because they thought we aren't going down. The truth is that I have always arrived earlier than my co-worker for the tuition. I didn't realized that without me, they would leave early... As a matter of fact, my co-worker did say something that my presence makes a difference. Sigh...

Even in my DG, one of the brothers, who has been with us for the last year, decided to left us in order to focus on his church ministry. Seems to me everyone is "shouting" to me that I must focus on something or ministry... But as I reflect, I find myself less joyous in the work of God recently, as I heard more of this type of comments.

I had a short session with my mum this morning and she reminded me to stay close with God, to hear from Him and not from men. Was it a coincident that the above mentioned brother email me a verse which says, "Be still and know that I am God." I guess I have been swayed too much by the opinion of men on how ministry should be run, that I forgot His voice which called me into those multiple ministries to begin with... I understand that my conviction on evangelism pattern differs from most people around me, but this will not stop me from doing what I am convicted to do so now.

Even today, as I am feeling kind of sick, I prayed that the Lord will grant me the joy of serving Him which I have lost in the midst of men voices. May God help me to focus on Him by faith as I carry out His work in my capacity, and not swayed by men. May God keep me! Amen.


Anonymous said...

take care ok... too many pple r falling sick these days..

- miss pot

Anonymous said...

I think you need a time out. a period where you withdraw for a time to seek God and find your focus. Ask where God wants you to be. once you find that out, you can reject other commitments with confidence and no regrets. It doesn't need a retreat per se, but more of a seeking over a period of time.

You are still but human and there's no way you could do so much seperate things by yourself. So ask and seek for an open door, walk through it and know that that's the path you are meant to take.